Ah, the Infamous Pearl Necklace: Elegance Tarnished by Lewdness!

Noble reader, embark with caution onto strange seas where traditional glamor collides grotesquely with contemporary vulgarity. Yes, our subject today is none other than the notorious 'pearl necklace'. Let us dissect its two conflicting identities, one equal in grace to Hepburn, and the other lurking in tawdry corners of late-night internet escapades.

The Classic and Classy

Historically and stylistically, a pearl necklace is a elegant adornment composed of pearls—those luminous marine treasures sourced from mollusks—strung neatly and draped gracefully around a lady's collar. This jewelry classic communicates sophistication, refinement, and a dash of old-money charm. Champions of the pearl necklace include royalty, socialites, and anyone wishing to broadcast 'Yes, I'm cultured, thank you very much'.

A Raunchy Renaissance: The Slang Definition

Yet, life—especially the slang life—has a way of corrupting even the purest symbols. The pearl necklace, in less polite quarters, has taken a more scandalous and rather crude definition. In modern vulgar slang, to gift someone with this sort of necklace is euphemistically used among mischief-makers and crude conversationalists to refer to a gentleman depositing his biological essence ever-so-artistically onto the neck, collarbone, or chest of his consenting companion. Yes, I warned you—it truly is as unsavory as it sounds.

Origin Story: From Class to Crass

This rather lewd linguistic twist likely emerged from the visual comparison between actual pearls and the appearance of, ahem, male ejaculate. Popularized by certain corners of adult entertainment, pop culture, and ribald humor, the slang took off in the late twentieth century, proliferating like quotes of Nietzsche misapplied on social media.

• Popularity surged in the 1990s and early 2000s with internet forums, American Pie-style teen comedy films, and songs by artists unafraid of low-hanging fruit.
• Artists like ZZ Top, and hip-hop musicians have casually referenced the term, further cementing its cultural infamy.

Cultural Influence: Lovers, Clowns, and Commentators

As slang, the pearl necklace has had an enduring relevance primarily in humorous, irreverent, or explicitly sexual contexts, popularized mainly among teens and young adults with reckless abandon of good taste. It often appears as subtle joking innuendo or blatant shock-humor in media, conversation, and digital spaces. Anyone brave, reckless, desperate, or naive enough to trot out this phrase publicly without context risks social ridicule or sincere shock.

Usage and Contradictions: Handle with Extreme Caution

Consider yourself duly cautioned. While casually praising grandma's heirloom accessory is perfectly acceptable within polite society, unleashing the slang version in polite company is one sure-fire way to ensure eternal exile from tea parties and knitting groups. So unless social suicide is your hobby, exercise prudence and keep this dirty doppelgänger of the humble pearl far away from civilized discourse.

Variations and Euphemisms

This colorful concept has spawned few direct euphemistic cousins, given its straightforward visual nature. However, creative purveyors might substitute 'necklace' with variants like 'pearls of love', or 'sailor's jewelry', though these are less widespread.

Controversies and Scandal

Has this revolting twist sullied the dignified elegance of the pearl accessory? Conservatives, grandparents, and etiquette mavens often loudly say yes. However, linguistic evolution always marches forward, often heedless of decorum—though, with this term, it arguably sprinted straight downhill into vulgarity:

• Critiques abound on how language choices affect societal decorum, sexism, and respectfulness in romantic or sexual exchanges.
• The pornification of everyday terms even incited editorial hand-wringing and think-piece after think-piece, further amplifying the controversy.

Final Advice from Your Humble Narrator

Ah, dear reader, tread wisely with the pearl necklace in all communications. It sits ambiguously betwixt elegance and depravity! Here's a tip—when gifting your beloved a pearl necklace, ensure it comes from a jewelry store, befits an evening gown, and doesn't land you on a watchlist. Or not. Really, it's your call. I'm simply your exasperated yet worldly guide, navigating you through the treacherously absurd waters of slang.